Universal Unconditional Love17.Nov.2014
In a world where marketers are always telling us in order to attract clients we need to apply the principle of WIIFM, aka what’s in it for me, the concept of unconditional love seems quite foreign to most, if not all, often only applying to fortunate children and/or pets.
Anyone who has felt this unconditional love for a child or pet may have felt it very overwhelming that this person seemingly had so much power over us and our ‘rules’, but this is love in its purest form.
Our challenge now would be to extend that out to people that may appear easier to walk away from or have less influence on our hearts. If we could extend that out to partners, friends and parents, we can set a new level of love that the world has been yearning for.
But first we have to be able to give up ‘The Rules’. When we live by inflexible hard and fast rules we can be inadvertently sabotaging our desire for love over a need to be right. Books have been written for dating based on manipulation, game playing and one upmanship. None of those words hold any connotation to having a happy and respectful relationship based on honesty and integrity. (Ironically, common words used in online dating profiles)
Love and relationships are not a game, there are no scorecards. The only goal should be to keep our heart open.
By no accounts would I suggest that anyone accept abusive behaviours and receivers and givers of abuse didn’t get themselves in that cycle because of lack of ‘rules’. It was because of a lack of love; that being with themselves. Their view on relationships was already distorted attracting dysfunction and co-dependency.
In a healthy relationship both parties should be experiencing equality, communication, established roles and the ability to negotiate and re negotiate if the need arises as circumstances change, like the addition of a baby, career moves or health issues.
Sometimes it feels easier to succumb to the cathartic effect, albeit temporary, feeling that you have control or power over a person or situation. It can be tempting to feel less uncomfortable opposed to standing there naked and vulnerable.
Feelings of sadness, disappointment or being disillusioned are no excuse for withdrawing, withholding and closing down our hearts.
It is easy to get caught up in the illusion of being right, having control, standing our ground or winning. This is not the path of deeper healing; this is the short term gratification our ego selves would like to have us believe will be our key to happiness. This false sense of power can be as addictive as drugs, alcohol and sugar.
To win a short term battle is no victory when we are engaging with other human beings feelings.
To love unconditionally means to love in spite of, even when, even if, putting no conditions or provisos on it.
As finding the ‘gift’ is a higher level of forgiveness, unconditional love is a deeper level of love.
The desire for love has to be greater than our desire for a false sense of security.
As my children now move into marriages and parenthood, it is even more important for me to apply these principles in my life as an example for their future.
When you touch someone with your spirit, they touch your soul with their heart. (Unknown)